Baking day

I love days like yesterday!  I felt like we accomplished so much.  In addition to our normal daily chores, I re-organized a kitchen cupboard, kept the baby happy, and in between pumpings and nursings baked.  We baked 5 pizza crusts, 18 large pumpkin-apple walnut muffins, 24 pita breads, 3 loaves of bread, lots of pretzels (shaped by the kids), carrot cake, and buttermilk biscuits.  I also made homemade butter and yogurt dip.  The kids got some other school done, and I even read a small amount of Plato for my class.

We have made a New Years resolution to eat more unprocessed and nutrient dense foods.  The more we look at it the more that it seems that the Lord intended for us to eat living food.  The more energy potential in it the better it is for our bodies.  The recently it was growing or able to grow the better.  This is why we grind our own wheat etc.  It is definitely not easy.  I go through the grocery store and 95% of what is there is not in line with what we want.  There are places that we could shop, but with 5 growing kids and one income the budget doesn't stretch that far.  Luckily I love to bake.  I have always loved it.  I think my children are inheriting that love (which is great, maybe when they are teenagers they'll take over baking day ).  This is something I feel confident about that I can do.

Then there is produce.  No matter how I try I can't mix wheat into carrots, tomatoes, and onions.  Plus even if I could they wouldn't have the growth and life in them that we need.  So I'm going to try to have a garden.  Again.  I haven't had the best luck.  My children have been thrilled with the very small returns we have gotten and every time they can harvest anything from the garden their eyes light up.  I have been happy to get something, but I know I should be able to do so much better.  So it's back to the drawing board.  It's figuring out what absolutely has to be, like bright sunlight unshaded by trees.  And what isn't so important like watering by hand so you are close to your plants.  A book I read recommended this.  it doesn't happen in this house.   We have had really good intentions for the past 2 years and worked hard, but when the weather goes over 100 with humidity close to the same. . .the last thing Any of us want to do is go and water the garden, or weed.  So I am taking lessons from a friend of mine who has successfully gardened here for many years.  She uses soak-er hoses and Lots of mulch to keep the weeds down.  Here's to a bumper crop!

The milk and meat have been something we have gone back and forth on.  We have finally decided to go straight to the farmer where possible.  We found a source for real milk in Harrisonville for $3 per gallon and have been drinking that.  However, being that we aren't huge milk drinkers, and it takes 1 1/2 hours to get down there and back we might opt for a source that comes closer to home, but is a bit more money.  We haven't decided yet.  For meat we are currently buying from Costco and eating it sparingly, but we are planning on clearing out our deep freeze and buying 1/4- 1/2 of a grass-fed cow.  And some free range hens.  The person who brings the milk closer has free range eggs too.  Yikes.  Lots and lots to think about and do.  We have been leaning this direction for some time, but it always seemed cost prohibitive.  Finally we've decided to do the best we can prioritizing which changes are the most important to us and trying to find ways to do them.
Advice is always appreciated!  Leave a comment.  (: 

My Kids

Could you be upset at this face?  I already struggle, but when Hubby cracks a smile I'm done for.

Can you say patient uncle??

Too much Hot chocolate, and Christmas excitement.

This uncle has the magic touch.

My oldest is officially taller then me ):  Does that make me old?

Happy New Year!!

We were so excited to see family from Florida unexpectedly this last week.  Their kids had never seen snow and so being good hosts we kindly provided them with Plenty.  (:  We got together with them and the rest of our family Tuesday over at Rachel and Jared's house.  Almost the whole family was there.  David and Jamie couldn't come, but their kids were there.  It was a lot of fun hanging out together.  We ate and talked and took more pictures then even the most reckless paparazzi.  We all had a great time.

Thursday night on New Years Eve we were going to get all together for the holiday at our house.  Jose and Olivia had to go back to Florida Wednesday morning, so they couldn't come.

Then Wednesday morning we got a phone call that my niece Sarah was in the hospital.  She had gone down to 73 % O2 sat and had almost stopped breathing and they had to call the ambulance.  Thankfully she is all right now.  We are all so very thankful for the priesthood and the blessing that it is in our lives.  She came home a couple of days later and is doing well.

The week was long and crowded with activity and by the time New Years came along not many were left with the stamina to stay up.  Only Grandma and Grandpa Lopez, Aunt Elsa, and Jared and Rachel's family came for dinner and they all left before 10 pm.  Noah, Izy and Papa crashed soon thereafter.  And I wanted to.  (:  So the few of us that stayed up popped balloons and yelled for the new year.  I think perhaps next year we will have "A Cuban New Year"  That way we can celebrate at 10 pm central time when the clock changes there and then go to bed.

Our best gift in the new year happened the 2nd of January.  Isabelle weighs 16 pounds! I have to post pictures of her chubby thighs! She is now back up to where she would have been on her own little growth curve if she hadn't fallen off in July.  If we can continue this rate of growth for at least two more months then we will be on the chart for the first time since her 2 month well check up!

Now we are off to recover from our holidays!  There is nothing like close quarters, freezing weather, coughs, fevers, late nights, and too much excitement to throw a wrench in things!  Hopefully, sleep, blankets, lots of soup, honey, apple cider vinegar, echinachea tea, and calm routine can get us back up on our feet.

Blessed

I have always had a hard time accepting things from others.  I felt uncomfortable when people would give me things or serve me (with the notable exception of my parents).  I think it is because I am independent and strong-willed.  I hope I am not proud.  Lately, the Lord has been helping me to learn to accept and appreciate gifts from others.
When Isabelle was born I expected to have the same nursing relationship with her that I have had with my other children.  I already had a picture in my mind of what it would be like.  When she refused the breast, my heart broke.  I knew she was not refusing me, but somehow I couldn't meet her needs.  When I finally weaned her off of finger feeding I felt vindicated.  You just have to try hard enough.
At four months she had lost weight and we were sent to the hospital.  When I attempted to pump for her I couldn't get nearly enough.  What happened?  I felt betrayed and disillusioned.  This wasn't supposed to happen.  While I struggled to come to terms and to get my supply back up, Stephanie, my wonderful sister-in-law stepped up and using a hand pump, changing her diet, and loosing sleep, she brought us milk about every other day.  She did this for about a month, and I struggled to accept this wonderful amazing gift.  I tried many times to tell her how much it meant to me, but I don't know that you can understand unless you are recieving .  I felt relieved when my supply finally caught up.  I'm sure she did too.  (:
More recently, I have had my supply go down some and her needs increase.  I was going through my frozen milk supply fairly rapidly and had tried a hypo allergenic formula to supplement.  I found that while I could get her to accept it by mixing it with milk, if I gave it to her straight she would throw it up.  I didn't want to give it to her, I knew that especially with her challenges she needed the most help she could get and so I started working again to get my supply up.  It has worked only to a point, and then it stopped.  Short of what her needs are.  My family and I started to feel the strain of constant pumping.
Then another wonderful friend, Anaise, offered to pump once a day for me.  To her it is a small inconvenience.  Extra dishes, keeping track of a pump, 15 minutes or so.  She has assured me that it does not interfere too much with her life.  This is important to me because she already has a lot on her plate.  To Isabelle it means better nutrition, more brain growth, and less stomach trouble.  To me. . .to me it is an amazing gift of love.  It is someone doing for me what I cannot.  It is relief.  Time with my other kids.  Time with my husband.  Time to enjoy and hold my baby.  Peace of mind that even though there are so many things that I can't do for my little girl, so many things that I can't effect or change, so much wondering if I am doing enough, in this one area I know she is getting the very best nutrition possible.  With the help of others and the help of a all knowing all loving Father in Heaven we are giving her the absolute best thing for her.

Thank you to everyone who prays for her.  I feel those prayers.  Thanks to all of those that have served us in a hundred different ways.  Who have asked about her, who care about us.  Thank you.  I am learning to accept that I cannot do it all, but with the Lords help and the help of his angels on this earth, the important things can get done.






Merry Christmas!

 

Nutcracker Madness!

Joseph is in there if you look carefully. (:

Wow! Thinking back on the last three days I am happy.
Happy they are done.
Happy we had the oppurtunity.
Happy for friends and family supporting us.
Happy.
We have just finished 7 performances of the Nutcracker. Two on Thursday, Three on Friday and two on Saturday. The kids worked hard. They practiced and worked to get their parts down right and in the end it was worth it. Sometimes everything went smoothly other times we hit some bumps but in the end we came through it.
Joseph Ammon was an Older Party Guest (others his age were the younger ones- which he said was more exciting, but when you are 5 foot 7 it is hard to act the younger parts), a mouse, a page and a Russian Dancer. His Ballet teacher complimented me that his russian dancing has come a long way and it has. He is more confident, more flexible and faster.
Alayna was a fairy attendant, a buffoon, and a wind-up doll (this part was only through perseverance since it was already given to someone else but Alayna kept showing up to rehearsals and stood in for this other little girl who never came so she got the part by default). She did a wonderful job in all her parts and is very talented. By the last performance she did much better at looking out at the audience and Smiling.
Evelyn had her first experience with the nutcracker. She wanted to be in it last year, but it was too late to put her in. She was a snow bird and a Merry Maid. She was adorable and loved to be early to her post so that she could be absolutely sure to make her part. She smiled and acted and delighted in the attention.
Noah wasn't technically in the nutcracker this year. But every time we went to a show he would ask me "where is my Jake the Plumber hat?" or "Mom, I need my overalls." "why?" I asked. "So I can be Jake the plumber."
A little background for those of you who do not know. Jake the plumber is mentioned in the song "Second Hand Rose" that Alayna, Finoula and Evelyn sing for our Co-op. So in our last performance he had a cameo part walking accross the stage as 'Jake the Plumber'. Anyways, he feels that his performance and part is second to none in importance, and I know I'm not going to disagree!
He also felt compelled, we do not know why, to get up and walk accross the stage Friday night when the audience was all there. Luckily, the curtains hadn't opened yet. *sigh*
Thank you to Rachel for taking him on Saturday so that I could go about my business without having to stress about "Jake the Plumber" Making a suprise appearence in The Nutcracker. (:

Jake the Plumber in his dress rehearsal. With the hat but without the overalls.

Evelyn as a Merry Maid. She is next to Kelda the older ballerina and our friend.

Alayna as a wind-up doll. She is the red-cheeked doll on the far left.

Alayna bowing as a fairy attendant.

Gaining ground

We finally went over the 13 pound mark! As I mentioned in an earlier post Joseph and I are Not fans of the NG tube. For those who are unfamiliar this is the tube that they slide up your nose around the curve at the top and down to your throat, then you have to swallow it down, but not really because it stays in your throat and hangs out while the other end of it is in your stomach. This type of thing definitely has it's uses. Those are mostly for the short term because it can be very uncomfortable depending on the person and can cause scarring and/or oral aversion. Many times it hurts or tugs everytime you swallow. These tube are also considered more dangerous in the long term because they can become dislodged and end up in the lungs. Some people adjust quickly and life goes on. With Isabelle, her multiple sensitivity issues made us worried that she wouldn't. The only other option for putting food in and bypassing the effort of getting it down was a g-tube. This is a surgery where they put a small tube through your skin and into your stomach. On the outside it looks like a button with a blowup beachball type lid.

Our concern with this was that it is a surgery and Isabelle is showing signs of and is at high risk for developing cortisol insufficiency. If she had a borderline case and went through surgery without cortisol replacement she could have gone into shock. So we tried to talk to the doctors about it. One of them agreed with us and one of them didn't. We spent from July to November trying to get Izy to gain and keep the weight on, while trying to get someone to address this concern. Every time that she got sick (which was 2-3 weeks out of every month) she would lose the weight that she had gained while she was well. We kept bouncing between 12 and 13 pounds. We just didn't feel like it was time to do something yet.

Then Nov 5th we went to the endocrinologist's and told them our predicament again insisting that they do something or we would get a second opinion. They agreed that short term stress dosing for the surgery wouldn't do any harm and so said they would. Two days later she got sick and we felt strongly that we shouldn't let her loose the weight this time. So when she started to go down again we decided to get the NG tube (they can't put a gtube in when she's sick) for a short time. I thought it wouldn't be a problem, we have had many doctors ready to do it before. Her primary said to talk to the hospital and no department of the hospital would do it for us. I called back her primary and they spent 2 hours calling around only to call me back with 'they said they can't do it today, and the earliest they have available is Dec. 2nd.' Ummmm. No. Not helpful. So I got back on the phone and called everyone I knew that was connected with her care to try and find someone who was comfortable putting an NG tube down. In wracking my brain I thought what about the in-patient doctor who was ready to put in the NG tube back in July. Unfortunately the nurse called me back about an hour later and said that the earliest she could call me would be in two days because she was at a conference. I had about had it and I know she could hear the distress and tears in my voice. She was the most sympathetic person I had talked to all day. She could tell that I needed someone right then and asked if I would like to talk to Dr. Queen's colleague. I said yes and he called me about 15 minutes later after reviewing Izy's records. Yes, something definitely needed to be done and no he wasn't comfortable waiting until December. He called my primary and since the doctor wasn't in and the others weren't comfortable taking responsibility he recommended an in-patient stay to put the NG tube in and make sure she tolerated it.

Finally! Someone was going to help us. The funny thing was that after spending literally all day trying to get someone to help us- the doctor that came in to see us at 8 pm after reviewing her case said. "I'm sorry to say this, but I really think we need to put an NG tube in." Seriously!

She didn't react well to the NG tube. She kept swallowing and swallowing her eyes would get big because she couldn't get that something out of her throat. She didn't seem very interested in taking things by mouth although she tried. The next day we had a surgery consult and they scheduled us for surgery on Friday pending anesthesiologist approval. Long story short they approved and after 9 hours with out food and ten minutes in surgery and 1 and 1/2 hours in recovery we got our little girl back with an accessory. I can't explain what it is like to look at your little girl drugged and upset with oxygen in her nostrils.

My heart dropped, did I make the right decision? I knew I had, but seeing her like that was enough to break my heart. I clung as I have clung repeatedly in the past months to blessings and answers to prayers. I am so grateful that that day is over, that she is coming back to herself, gaining weight and moving onward. That in a nutshell is what makes me prefer the gtube. Yes it is more invasive in the short term, but she will probably need supplementation for at least a couple of years to catch up. So we've taken the aggravation pain and annoyance of the first few months to year and condensed them. Now we are done. She is growing and eating and we are happy.

Now I just have to get my milk supply up. Pressing forward.

Halloween fun

Halloween this year was fun. Despite the fact that we didn't go trick or treating so that we could try and avoid most of the germs and sugar that weakens our immune systems (yes we are going overboard). For our first time dressing up our family was the rainbow. Izy was yellow, Noah was Orange sun man, Evie was Pink (ballet pink she'll tell you), Alayna was purple, Joseph was green, I was Red and Hubby was Blue (which he had to talk Noah out of). We went to the church party coming late and leaving early on purpose, but we still had fun.
The highlight of halloween though was our family halloween pary. We made witch rings (Fruit loops), Eyeballs (cooked carrots with cut olives stuck to them by cheese), monster fingernails (pumpkin seeds), vampire fangs with blood to dip them in (triangular apple pieces dipped in strawberries mixed in yogurt), and dinner in a pumpkin. We ate snacks and played balloon volleyball over the island. Then we made slime from cornstarch and water with blue food-coloring. We played a game where we split into teams to see who could bring the slime across the table in our hands to a bowl on the other side fastest. The team that emptied their bowl first won. The girls won volleyball and the boys won the slime contest. Then after eating dinner we had some candy and watched The Littlest Vampire. We all had a lot of fun and I'm not sure about the kids, but I enjoyed it more then the years that we trick or treated and nothing else.
I will post pictures sometime, but our camera broke and I can't get the pictures off my cell right now. (: