One of the joys of my son going to Williamsburg is that they make us buy these wonderful books! I like to pick them up and read them as much as I can.
Currently I am reading a book titled the Gifts of Imperfection. I love it.
The basic concept is that our imperfections are what give us compassion for others, a chance to practice everyday courage and develop connections to other people. I have already experienced the compassion. I am rarely upset when anyone is late, because I know how hard it is to make everything work right to be on time. I understand when others want things their own way, because I do a lot as well. I am still trying to be more compassionate with others when their imperfections are ones I haven't forgiven myself for. That is a bit more tricky. When I am ashamed of myself for not being a better mom and spending more time with Isabelle working with her, I start to get upset with others over it too. I think that I am deflecting my shame and guilt. If I can get to the point that of trying as hard as I can and accepting that as enough, then I think I can be kinder and more understanding of others. This is one of the points she makes. If we don't accept our own imperfections and give ourselves some slack, then we don't get the gifts of being imperfect.
The courage of telling others something that you really are deeply ashamed of and sharing that imperfection with them in a time that they need to hear it so that they can understand they are not alone is huge. I don't share much of what I am deeply ashamed of. We have all done things that aren't perfect, but I hide them away and even now writing something that touches on that is difficult and painful.
We are all in this together and we are supposed to be there for each other and help one another. The imperfections that we have allow us to learn from and help and be helped. The key to really creating a relationship with someone else is our imperfections. They give us opportunities to become closer, the understanding to care about others trials and the common ground to connect.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
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1 comment:
I am more likely to be friends and trust someone who has shown me an imperfection or two than I am with someone who "has it all together." Now the fact that I simply love you would imply that you don't have it all togther. That's not what I'm saying! :) I think you have the most important things down pat, and you're a wonderful example to me, and the fact that you're late to stuff or are struggling with balancing your many, many responsibilities or anything else less than "perfect" about you simply makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin.
You're terrific!
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