Staying busy.
Making diapers
Watching cousins.
Creating things.
Acting.
Dancing.
Playing.
Singing.
Reading.
Living.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Pictures
Gifts of imperfection
One of the joys of my son going to Williamsburg is that they make us buy these wonderful books! I like to pick them up and read them as much as I can.
Currently I am reading a book titled the Gifts of Imperfection. I love it.
The basic concept is that our imperfections are what give us compassion for others, a chance to practice everyday courage and develop connections to other people. I have already experienced the compassion. I am rarely upset when anyone is late, because I know how hard it is to make everything work right to be on time. I understand when others want things their own way, because I do a lot as well. I am still trying to be more compassionate with others when their imperfections are ones I haven't forgiven myself for. That is a bit more tricky. When I am ashamed of myself for not being a better mom and spending more time with Isabelle working with her, I start to get upset with others over it too. I think that I am deflecting my shame and guilt. If I can get to the point that of trying as hard as I can and accepting that as enough, then I think I can be kinder and more understanding of others. This is one of the points she makes. If we don't accept our own imperfections and give ourselves some slack, then we don't get the gifts of being imperfect.
The courage of telling others something that you really are deeply ashamed of and sharing that imperfection with them in a time that they need to hear it so that they can understand they are not alone is huge. I don't share much of what I am deeply ashamed of. We have all done things that aren't perfect, but I hide them away and even now writing something that touches on that is difficult and painful.
We are all in this together and we are supposed to be there for each other and help one another. The imperfections that we have allow us to learn from and help and be helped. The key to really creating a relationship with someone else is our imperfections. They give us opportunities to become closer, the understanding to care about others trials and the common ground to connect.
Currently I am reading a book titled the Gifts of Imperfection. I love it.
The basic concept is that our imperfections are what give us compassion for others, a chance to practice everyday courage and develop connections to other people. I have already experienced the compassion. I am rarely upset when anyone is late, because I know how hard it is to make everything work right to be on time. I understand when others want things their own way, because I do a lot as well. I am still trying to be more compassionate with others when their imperfections are ones I haven't forgiven myself for. That is a bit more tricky. When I am ashamed of myself for not being a better mom and spending more time with Isabelle working with her, I start to get upset with others over it too. I think that I am deflecting my shame and guilt. If I can get to the point that of trying as hard as I can and accepting that as enough, then I think I can be kinder and more understanding of others. This is one of the points she makes. If we don't accept our own imperfections and give ourselves some slack, then we don't get the gifts of being imperfect.
The courage of telling others something that you really are deeply ashamed of and sharing that imperfection with them in a time that they need to hear it so that they can understand they are not alone is huge. I don't share much of what I am deeply ashamed of. We have all done things that aren't perfect, but I hide them away and even now writing something that touches on that is difficult and painful.
We are all in this together and we are supposed to be there for each other and help one another. The imperfections that we have allow us to learn from and help and be helped. The key to really creating a relationship with someone else is our imperfections. They give us opportunities to become closer, the understanding to care about others trials and the common ground to connect.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Cousins and children
This last week we have had the opportunity of having James older kids David and Melody and Josh's girls Lissie and Anna stay at our house. We have had a lot of fun. Of course most of the time it was the children having fun and me watching and enjoying. Here are some of the things I loved:
Playing trains with David an Melody. Watching them so nicely take turns and hearing Melody exclaim over and over again "I So excited!" when the train would move on the tracks.
Watching Anna get Melody dressed, brush her hair and take her around helping her and including her.
Seeing Lissie get so excited about make believe games with Evie and Anna, Noah and Melody.
Learning new dances at our family dance Friday night from each child. Evie preferred headbanging, Anna did disco moves, Lissie did animal moves, Alayna showed us how to spin and spin like ballerinas, and Noah was his crazy self. Melody couldn't be contained to one room and skipped happily around the house to the music and David wanted to be right in the middle as an animal, but not a dancing one.
Watching Joseph learn to be more gentle and spending a couple hours playing whatever David and Melody wanted to play in the downstairs toy room so that they would feel comfortable going down there.
Seeing Alayna take melody out into the deeper water at the river and teach her to splash Joseph who overreacted perfectly just to get a huge giggle.
Watching Noah, Anna, Lissie, and Evie make a huge Mud pie on the bank and plaster Noah's back with mud.
Most of all I loved seeing them be friends, take care of each other, and serve one another. I remembered experiencing summer. The freedom and the fun. The ability to spend hours upon hours imagining, pretending and enjoying. With no Adult who is setting the rules, no constant ringing of a bell to say play time is over, a child led world.
Of course there were the not as great times to. Lissie trying to run inside quickly to do something for me and tripping and breaking open her scab. Anna crying because her forearms hurt from some kind of contact dermatitis. David screaming because he had taken the ball from Melody and then not let go easily when Joseph took it from him to give it back and "it hurt him". Evie and Anna hiding in the car where no one could find them and Lissie crying feeling rejected. Melody's blow out (nuf said).
Those times were there but interspersed so that they were hardly noticeable. I hope that as they look back on this uninterrupted time with their cousins they will remember the good things, the fun things and the crazy things. I hope that they (as I do) will cherish the free summer days spent with cousins, making popsicles, wands, fairy dust and magic.
David and Melody have gone home. I can honestly say that I will miss them. It also is less work without them here. (: But still they leave a hole that will be waiting for their next visit for them to fill. We still have two more fun-filled days with Lissie and Anna. I hope they can put up with us for that long. They are already talking about missing their parents, but they are quick to reassure us that they like it here to. :)
A huge thanks to my brothers for raising such wonderful kids (Jake too, we enjoyed our time with Tean and Mo just as much) and for being so willing to share them with us. There is nothing quite like a cousin.
Playing trains with David an Melody. Watching them so nicely take turns and hearing Melody exclaim over and over again "I So excited!" when the train would move on the tracks.
Watching Anna get Melody dressed, brush her hair and take her around helping her and including her.
Seeing Lissie get so excited about make believe games with Evie and Anna, Noah and Melody.
Learning new dances at our family dance Friday night from each child. Evie preferred headbanging, Anna did disco moves, Lissie did animal moves, Alayna showed us how to spin and spin like ballerinas, and Noah was his crazy self. Melody couldn't be contained to one room and skipped happily around the house to the music and David wanted to be right in the middle as an animal, but not a dancing one.
Watching Joseph learn to be more gentle and spending a couple hours playing whatever David and Melody wanted to play in the downstairs toy room so that they would feel comfortable going down there.
Seeing Alayna take melody out into the deeper water at the river and teach her to splash Joseph who overreacted perfectly just to get a huge giggle.
Watching Noah, Anna, Lissie, and Evie make a huge Mud pie on the bank and plaster Noah's back with mud.
Most of all I loved seeing them be friends, take care of each other, and serve one another. I remembered experiencing summer. The freedom and the fun. The ability to spend hours upon hours imagining, pretending and enjoying. With no Adult who is setting the rules, no constant ringing of a bell to say play time is over, a child led world.
Of course there were the not as great times to. Lissie trying to run inside quickly to do something for me and tripping and breaking open her scab. Anna crying because her forearms hurt from some kind of contact dermatitis. David screaming because he had taken the ball from Melody and then not let go easily when Joseph took it from him to give it back and "it hurt him". Evie and Anna hiding in the car where no one could find them and Lissie crying feeling rejected. Melody's blow out (nuf said).
Those times were there but interspersed so that they were hardly noticeable. I hope that as they look back on this uninterrupted time with their cousins they will remember the good things, the fun things and the crazy things. I hope that they (as I do) will cherish the free summer days spent with cousins, making popsicles, wands, fairy dust and magic.
David and Melody have gone home. I can honestly say that I will miss them. It also is less work without them here. (: But still they leave a hole that will be waiting for their next visit for them to fill. We still have two more fun-filled days with Lissie and Anna. I hope they can put up with us for that long. They are already talking about missing their parents, but they are quick to reassure us that they like it here to. :)
A huge thanks to my brothers for raising such wonderful kids (Jake too, we enjoyed our time with Tean and Mo just as much) and for being so willing to share them with us. There is nothing quite like a cousin.
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